JOKES

In the classroom the teacher is asking a student to do something.

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with “I.”

Student: I is the …

Teacher: Stop! Never put “is” after “I.” Always put ‘am’ after “I.”

Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

A young man was visiting his brother and sister-in-law for Sunday dinner. As he arrived at

their house he found his young nephew, Little Johnny, helping them bake some cupcakes.

After they were done, his sister-in-law allowed Johnny to put the icing on. When the boy had finished, he brought them to the table.

“The cupcakes look delicious, Johnny.” his uncle said. He took a bite and said, “Johnny these are so good.”

As he finished cupcake and took another, he again complimented his little nephew. “The cupcakes look beautiful, Johnny,” his uncle said. “How did you get the icing so neat?”

His nephew replied, “It was easy. I just licked them.”

The uncle turned pale. He pointed to the plate of cupcakes. “You licked all of these?”

Johnny replied, “Well no. After a while my tongue got tired, and I got the dog to help.”

Is it sweet?

Akpors goes into a chemist, reaches into his pocket and takes out a small bottle and a teaspoon.

He pours some liquid onto the teaspoon and offers it to the chemist’s assistant.”Could you taste this please?” says Akpors. Chemist Assistant takes the teaspoon, put it
in his mouth swills the liquid and swallow it.. “Does it taste sweet?” says Akpors “No, not at all” says Chemist Assistant.”Good” says Akpors…..”the doctor told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar”The Chemist Assistant fainted

No School Today!

“Dad, I don’t want to go to school today.” said the boy.
“Why not, son?”

“Well, one of the chickens on the school farm died last week and we had chicken soup for lunch the next day. Then three days ago one of the pigs died and we had roast pork the next day.”

“But why don’t you want to go today?”

“Because our English teacher died yesterday!”

A child asked to his mother:
-mom! Can you give me some money?
His mom : why? 
-I will give to a old man
His mom : well done! Okay, where is the old man ?
-Momm.. He is at the end of the street…He is selling ice-cream

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?”

One boy answers, “We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”

“You should be ashamed of yourselves,” said the teacher, “When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was.”

The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher